Was it a week or a month ago? Last...year? We understand: It's sometimes simpler to give in to your excuses—I'm too tired, let's do it this weekend, it doesn't really feel that wonderful. We don't need to tell you that sex is necessary for a happy marriage—and a happy you. According to studies, having a joyful sex life can reduce stress, lower the risk of heart disease, and even boost immunity. But enough with the nonsense.
Some sex tips
- Make yourself smell sexy.
Women have been demonstrated to be turned on by cucumber, licorice, and baby powder, which increased vaginal blood flow by 13%. Pumpkin pie and lavender both improve blood flow by 11%. Consider this: Serve pumpkin pie with a cucumber-scented sachet next to your pillow to end a romantic dinner.
- Go for a lunchtime walk.
Sexual satisfaction was found to be directly connected to fitness in a study of women aged 45 to 55. Their desire and sexual happiness decreased as they got less activity.
- Pick up a steamy book.
Arousal can be triggered swiftly by erotic literature.
- Relax completely.
Researchers from the University of British Columbia in Canada and Hadassah University Hospital in Israel studied the emotions of 24 women who watched an erotic film before and after attending three mindfulness meditation classes. The women were noticeably more turned on after watching the identical movie for the second time. Mindfulness has been shown to alter brain processes and allow women to feel increased arousal.
- Schedule a massage.
The sex hormone oxytocin is stimulated by skin-to-skin contact. The more oxytocin released, the stronger a woman's desire. If you don't want to spend an hour or more on a manicure, add a 10-minute session at the nail salon afterward.
- Work up a sweat in advance.
Exercising too close to bedtime can make it difficult for some people to sleep. Make the most of your newfound vitality. Everything in your body is working properly after 35 to 40 minutes of moderate activity. Because your blood is pumping and your neurological system is firing, having sex shortly after you exercise is ideal.
- Inquire about Viagra.
Pills like Viagra boost blood flow to the vaginal area, which women, like men, require for arousal. Despite the fact that the pill has not been approved by the FDA for women, doctors can administer it off-label. Ask your doctor whether these medications could benefit you as well. So, says Laura Berman, PhD, founder of the Berman Center, if your sex drive is lacking because your whoopee lacks whoop or your hormones are out of control, a physical boost may spark interest. However, no drug will make you feel better if you're slumped because you despise your thighs, loathe your partner, or are just overworked rather than fired up. It could simply give you another headache, which is a typical side effect. Working through those issues is your best bet.
- Keep it straightforward.
According to studies from Pennsylvania State University, both men and women consider 7 to 13 minutes of lovemaking "desirable." Researchers questioned 34 of the country's leading sex specialists, who have cumulatively counselled many thousands of Americans on the subject, to arrive at that figure—and it turns out that there are minimal gender differences in expectations of how long intercourse should ideally last. In fact, most adults consider 3- to 7-minute romps to be "sufficient."
- Repair the damage.
In a University Hospitals of Cleveland trial, over half of the 64 women who tested it reported a significant boost—nearly twice as many as those who used a placebo patch—resulting in four or five additional "pleasing" sexual sessions each month. Keep in mind that the patches are exclusively approved for men, while roughly 20% of them are prescribed off-label for women.
Studies reveal that many women who claim to be uninterested in sex perform admirably once they're involved. Women believe that mental desire must come before physical arousal, and that if it doesn't, they must not like sex. For many women, however, this is not the case. Do it the next time your husband visits you. Check to see if the light bulb is turned on. Comparing their desire to the drive they felt in the early days of the relationship is a common libido dampener for women who are years into a relationship. Don't wait for a fireworks display. Use the embers to your advantage. You must determine what you require to feel hotter. Purchase new underwear for yourself, not for him.