It's not uncommon for a couple's sex life to reach a low point or a rut. Many people in long-term relationships fall into certain patterns or routines, such as how they initiate sex, what positions they use, and when they do it. It's crucial to note, though, that your sexual desires and activities might change based on what's going on in your life and how you're feeling.
However, there is a lot that can be done to make a sex life more interesting. Novelty, intrigue, and playfulness are all elements that people say they miss in long-term relationships. As a result, everything we can do to rectify or reintroduce these missing parts into your sex life will almost certainly make a difference.
Few things you should try to spice up your sex life
- Send flirty messages throughout the day.
Interests and turn-ons change throughout time, so consider establishing a playful and seductive environment for you and your spouse to explore them. You may attempt flirty texting, which involves utilising a separate app to add a layer of novelty to your messaging.
This manner, you can experiment and add a layer of mystery to your conversations. Regular days can be made a little more interesting if you receive a provocative snapshot of your mate via your hidden messaging app when you least expect it.
- Make sure your date nights are varied.
Make time for date nights, whether they're planned or unplanned. You don't have to get ready together or arrive or depart from the same location. Instead, shake things up a little. Meeting someone after work or going to a hotel where your companion is already waiting might be exhilarating. You'll open the door to an unexpected, blank canvas - where you can let emotion, fancy, or playfulness take you.
Even if you're in lockdown, switching things up may add a lot of variation to date night. When your lover returns from somewhere, playfully instigate something. Make time for lighthearted, pleasurable activities. Why not dim the lights, play some music, and prepare some cocktails with your friends?
- Experiment with role-playing (if you're up to it).
Role-playing can be entertaining. Some people may prefer to start with an app like Dipsea to help them produce ideas. Remember, if you want to bring up the issue of role-playing with your spouse, make it lighthearted and convey your interests in a playful manner.
People are more likely to struggle in a relationship if they believe their spouse is bored with their sex life or looking for inspiration outside of the partnership, so how you approach the matter is critical. For obvious reasons, say 'I'd love to see you wearing...' or 'I'd really like to try...' rather than 'I'd really love to watch you with my PA.'
- Share your fantasies even before you act on them.
It's crucial to understand that 'spicing things up' doesn't always imply getting kinky or having orgies. In fact, it could just imply a change of pace. Experiment with foreplay, have sex in a separate room, join your spouse in the shower, and other similar activities. Maybe even express that you want to share fantasies.
Create a secure environment by talking about desires over a glass of wine or giving each other sensuous massages. People can be embarrassed by fantasies, so don't be alarmed if what they're suggesting isn't your cup of tea. You'll be closer if you're comfortable - start by dipping your toe and allowing your natural curiosity to blossom.
- Inject some danger into the mix (but not for the sake of it)
Quickies, danger, and high-thrill sexual practises can provide variety to your sexual experiences. Even just remembering prior thrills and experiments can be a turn-on, providing both a rush for you and your partner as well as an erotic memories and bonding experience.
The most important factor to consider is if you want to do anything one-time or on a regular basis. I'd avoid doing something just for the sake of it and instead only do it if it's a genuine turn-on for you both.
- Spend some time getting to know each other's bodies.
Body exploration may be quite enjoyable for both individuals and couples. Spend 20 minutes focusing your attention on each other — with fragrant candles and soothing music in the background — and paying attention to the sensations that arise.
Variate the amount of pressure or how you contact your partner, and use your hands, lips, oils, silk, and feathers to explore every region of the body. Experimenting with this new approach to intimacy can be both pleasant and healthy, amplifying pleasure feelings and orgasms.
This is critical. First and foremost, ensure that your connection is healthy. Sexual contentment is influenced by relationship satisfaction, so make sure you're working on your relationship in general. This entails enhancing communication as well as intimacy and connection in general (if this has drifted).
Similarly, do not merge or morph two people into one. As individuals, you should have distinct identities and distinctions. If you're so close that you do everything together and nearly complete one other's sentences, it's not good for your sex life.