Discuss These Topics Before Having Sex

Is your relationship about to take the next step? Or perhaps things have just been a little lacklustre between the sheets? 

We understand that when you and your lover become intimate, the ultimate goal is wonderful sex. But, before you turn off the lights, there are a few subjects you and your partner should discuss jointly if you want to avoid an awkward time in bed. Knowing each other's desires, preferences, and sexual history is essential for getting things started right. Here's some terrific advice on how to get there from two of our favourite experts. 

Dish about your fantasies, fetishes, and desires

Take a moment to think before you laugh. Fantasies and fetishes should absolutely be spoken. Surprising your lover with your furry fetish in the middle of the night could be too shocking. Oils, lotions, and potions are all quite commonplace. Those aren't really worth debating. If you're a bondage queen or a hidden dominatrix, though, let your lover know." 

Many men and women are uncomfortable when the subject of pleasure gadgets is brought up, but Twant to A. Hines, sex educator and proprietor of FunkyBrownChick.com, believes they can be the remedy for stale sex life. Toys aren't just for tots. Particularly in long-term relationships, sex can become commonplace. Fun accoutrements help ramp up the heat, from basic lotions to fuzzy handcuffs.

Never underestimate your partner's desires in the bedroom. Vaginal intercourse is usually what people think of when they think of sex. Both anal and oral sex are considered. Do you want to take part in all three?  Is he or she, your partner? When it comes to sex, talking about what's on the table helps to define boundaries. 

Talk about your sexual history as well as your future plans

Remember how your sex education instructor warned you in high school that when you have sex with someone, you're having sex with everyone they've ever had sex with? As revolting as it seemed at the time, the truth is that they were correct. Vaginal intercourse is usually what people think of when they think of sex. The results of someone who hasn't had STD testing in the last six months aren't up to date. 

Don't rely on your partner to keep an eye on your best interests. the task is solely yours. Always be proactive. Your sexual health is your responsibility. What you don't know could cause you harm.

It's fine to start over as a couple. the experience might be more useful than you might think, and going and getting tested together can be an oddly fun trip. It's undoubtedly one that leaves you feeling terrific about having a clean slate and prioritizing your health — in other words, a win-win situation. Family planning should be a part of any pre-sex conversation, talk to your partner about using birth control methods as well. Nothing is more difficult than dealing with an unintended pregnancy before either of you is truly ready to start a family. 

Make certain you're one-of-a-kind

Is it possible that your partner has another twinkie? Whether you like it or not, not everyone has the same definition of a committed relationship. In a sexual relationship, women need to be careful about assuming exclusivity. ask your partner if they're dating or married to someone else upfront. Having direct dialogues about whether you're sexually exclusive or not decreases uncertainty. 

Calendar Swap 

You enjoy it in the mornings, while they prefer the evenings. You're fine with having sex three times a week, but your spouse prefers three times a month. Knowing and sharing your sex routines is the key to a happy and rewarding sex life that you can both be proud of. It's possible that your sexual calendars are different. You can have various sexual frequencies. This is vital to know since a nighttime person may take a morning sex rejection personally, but he must be aware that you transform into a vixen at night.

Don't Keep Your Sexual Secrets to Yourself 

The sexual history is crucial, and it might involve more than just test results and STD exposure. Unfortunately, many African American women and men have been subjected to various sorts of sexual trauma and assault. It's a good idea for partners to be honest about what has happened to them in order to have a healthy sexual expression in the bedroom. What's good, what's awful, and what's ugly. 

But, you might be asking, how do you tackle such a sensitive subject? It's better for partners to have this chat one-on-one in private, outside of the bedroom, in a secure location. You might start by informing your spouse that you have something important to talk about with them and that you are uncomfortable having the conversation but want to be honest. In any important conversation, acknowledging the discomfort is usually beneficial.

Make every effort to get through your narrative despite the embarrassment. The discussion will bring you closer together. Still undecided? If having sexual dialogues or exposing your sexual background makes you uncomfortable, you shouldn't be having sex with them.

Take Away

The aforesaid topics and issues must be discussed freely with your partner before getting intimate. A relationship is more about sharing and accepting different ideas about sex rather than just having sex for fun.